That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She told me I should be a condom model.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
