nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
