their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
