just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
