the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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