I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
