She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
