and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
