i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
