I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
