Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We are two peas in an std pod
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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