I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
