Me. At least after what I've been through.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
only if we run a train.
done.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
