you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
