I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he had hair everywhere except his balls
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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