You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
