my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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