Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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