I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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