You're my little dorito
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
