don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
