Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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