Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
