Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
