We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I believe in your delicious
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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