wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
