Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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