I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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