dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
