I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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