Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
