They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
