I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
