I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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