I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
