Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
