I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
