Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
