i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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