This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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