If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
