If i come over, it means nothing
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
