Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
