I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
