i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
