hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
