Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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