She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
