When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
