Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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