I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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